ZOAH'S DATING GAME
by Fire Champion
Summary: Welcome to the dating game, with your host.... ZOAH?
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to the somewhat newly revised chapter of Zoah's Dating Game, it's been awhile actually it's been a long time since I last updated. I hope no one waited for the continuation of this story, I'm already feeling bad enough for leaving it like this. The story wasn't worth waiting for, though I'm glad people liked it.

I'm replaying Chrono Cross as well, to relive the excitement from those years. The whole story is completely rewritten with some better description, and hopefully more humor. I still don't own Chrono Cross since the last time that it was mentioned two years ago.

**ZOAH'S DATING GAME**

The beautiful town of Termina, so peaceful until one day.

"Well if it isn't Zoah of the four Acacian Deva Dragoons, what can I do for you." The man greeted willing to shake hands. But Zoah denied his request, clearing his booming voice and got straight to the point. "MR. NIKKI'S MANAGER, I HAVE A PROPOSITION. I WANT YOU TO HEAR OUT."

The man thought about it for a minute and decided. "Well okay, but only if it'll make me money." The loud booming voice replied. "INDEED"

----------

A week later

A crowd of people gathered around the Nikki stage. The stage was being remodeled, the workers continued this for what seemed hours. The huge crowd numbers only begun growing rapidly. The crowd gossiped about what could be planned for the stage. The sound of Nikki's door opening caught the ears of all the females in the area. The dream of seeing their beloved rock idol Nikki once again was replaced with the sight of his manager exiting his room.

"Go away, if you are curious about what we are doing, you should buy a ticket for tomorrow's show." With that said, the crowd unhappily left. "AREN'T WE FRIENDLY MR. NIKKI'S MANAGER." The manager turned to see the huge masked knight. "Will you stop calling me that, Zoah?"

"IF I KNEW YOUR NAME, I WOULD!" Zoah replied. "Okay, your maybe right. But what are we going to do about the contestants. If I book Nikki or the other dancers, my sell of posters will drop. Not to mention future ticket sells." The manager stated panicking.

"DO NOT WORRY, I HAVE IT COVERED AND THEN AFTER TOMORROW'S SHOW, MORE WILL COME." The giant behemoth replied leaving the center stage. "I sure hope so." The manger said walking back into his office. A few hours later, letters had been sent to a few of his friends. In the letters, it had told them of the following.

_Dear friends,_

_You have all been invited to be guests on my new game show, which is currently located at Nikki's rock concert in Termina. The show will be watched by all of Termina to see. For those participating in the show, they will be prizes awarded to the winners. All other contestants will receive lovely parting gifts.  
_

_Hope to see you there._

Sincerely, ZOAH

The next day at Termina

On the day of the game show, many of the Chrono Cross characters came like the note stated. The first to arrive were the contestants from Arni, who were the three young teenagers. That of which we all know as Serge, Kid, and Leena.

"Why hello Zoah, so what's this game show of yours about?" asked Leena. As Serge yawned tiredly, the girls were too excited about the new show to let him sleep in as he did usual. Maybe if Kid hadn't came back, he could have ignored Leena. But making Leena or Kid mad was crazy, making them both mad was suicide.

"YOU'LL SOON FIND OUT, ENTER MIKI'S DRESSING ROOM FOR MAKE UP." Hearing this, the group from Arni left for their appointed dressing room. Zoah quickly grabbed Serge by the shoulder. "SORRY, BUT MIKI'S DRESSING ROOM ARE FOR THE FEMALES ONLY. YOU WILL ENTER THE ONE ON THE TOP OF THE STAGE."

Serge didn't replied, and did what he was told. The famous Chrono Trigger waited for what he would be plenty time for the rest to arrive, but everyone was scattered throughout their region of the world. But he would expect as least more males to come to Termina already.

The next closest group almost arriving had been the residents from the Viper Manor. "A game show, what is that moron thinking?" Karsh stated wondering if something was wrong with his giant friend or not.

"Like who knows, maybe like it going to be like fun?" Marcy called looking back at the annoyed Karsh. The second man sighed, his hand on his sword's handle. "Zoah has something up his sleeves, I can feel it, but what?" Glenn replied shortly after in his usually six sense attitude.

"I'm sure Marcy's right, Noah is probably doing this for fun." Riddel answered not thinking as much about it than her protectors. The four stopped upon reaching the town of Termina. 'Maybe she's right, but why do I have this strange feeling?' Glenn pondered slightly.

When they arrived, the show was about ready to start. All the contestants had been in the bottom dressing room except for Serge and Van who were on the top. The two boys wondered if they were the only males that showed up, until the door suddenly opened revealing the bunny rabbit demi-human.

"Janice why are you here?" Serge asked. "Well Zoah invited me to be on this game show." Janice replied simply.

"No, Serge means that this is a male dressing room." Van corrected. "Well, if this is a males dressing room why did Norris, Guile, and Pierre go into the females room?" Janice asked concerned. Both males went wide eyed after hearing this.

"Maybe, they could be females?" A voice outside the room replied. Turning towards the door, they found Lady Riddel entering the room. The thought of seeing Guile, Norris and Pierre in a dress was enough to traumatize the blue hair youths for live.

"Something is going on, that's for sure, but what?" Van wondered, ignoring the previous creepy pictures in his head.

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out." Serge answered back. But before Serge had his chance. The sound of music could be heard throughout the stage as he opened the door, but before he could leave a small figure quickly emerged as he held out his hands.

"I'm sorry, but Zoah needs your weapons. Don't worry, the others had their weapons taken away as well." The walking vegetable warrior Turnip stated. As the four threw them their weapons, as Turnip could only blankly stare at Janice.

"I still can't believe you fight with that!" Turnip exclaimed wide eyed, looking at his fellow vegetable abused by the uncaring demi-human. "Should I eat it instead!" Janice threatened as he quickly grabbed the carrot from her before running with the heavy weapons in hands as fast as his stubby legs could.

The start of the show began with Nikki playing his newly platinum hit The Wind, Stars, and Moon. The audience went wild after hearing the great song, even if the show sucked. They were probably satisfied just to hear Nikki play. After the beautiful song ended, the fans started to beg for more. But they were denied as it's host entered wearing a brand spanking new tuxedo, complete with his traditional knight helmet entered the scene.

"I AM ZOAH, WELCOME TO MY SHOW." His huge voice echoed throughout the stage. "MANY OF YOU ARE WONDERING, WHAT MY GAME SHOW IS ABOUT," Which was true, all though the audience only bought the tickets to hear Nikki play. "I'LL TELL YOU, IT IS ABOUT THE WORD LOVE." This caught the audience by surprise. "Love?" Many asked themselves out loud.

"THIS IS A SHOW WHERE, I WILL UNITE FOUR LUCKY CONTESTANTS WITH ONE OF THREE DIFFERENT BACHELORS." The audience had to admit, the idea it seem a little interesting to say the least. "THE NAME OF THIS GAME WILL BE CALLED THE DATING GAME."

The door to the top dressing room continued to still be open even after Turnip's mad haste. As the true plans of Zoah were now known. "Say what?" Everyone in the dressing room was now speechless.

"So that explains a few things." Riddel replied calmly careful listening.

"So that's what he was planning, I wonder who the four contestants are?" Janice exclaimed clueless, as the three couldn't help but give her a strange look. "Well Janice, we are." Serge admitted, her clueless-ness disappearing. "Say what?"

"I'll kill him!" Van swore forcing his hand into a fist. "No your not Van, because I'm going to beat you to it." Janice hissed in pure rage.

"TODAY ON THE DATING GAME, WE HAVE MANY BACHELORS FROM DIFFERENT GENDERS. SO GIVE A BIG HAND TO OUR FIRST FOUR BACHELORS SERGE, VAN, RIDDEL, AND JANICE." The crowd started to applauding causing the four to quickly develop stage fright.

"I'm not going out there!" Van stated scared. "I'm not going too!" Janice agreed at well. "Well someone has too?" Riddel called as the three turned towards Serge, the man was defeated. "Okay, I'll go first. But you all better come on after me." Serge announced before leaving. Upon walking towards the stage, the young Chrono Trigger was introduced to the people by the wonderful Zoah. "THIS IS SERGE, THE YOUNG MAN IS SEVENTEEN. THE BOY LIVES IN ARNI WITH HIS MOTHER, HIS BODY WEIGHT IS 128 LBS. HIS HEIGHT IS 5'7. HE HAS BLUE EYES, BLUE HAIR, AND HIS BANDANNA FOLLOWS HIS EVERYWHERE HE GOES."

Serge stood still trying to hold his anger by not lashing out at Zoah after hearing a few giggles escaped from girls in the front row, probably about living with his mother or his bandanna. "NOW SERGE, YOU'LL HAVE TO PICK FROM THESE THREE LOVELY WOMEN, WHY DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT YOURSELVES LADIES?"

Serge stood looking at the three solid black curtains, each holding his destiny. While he had to stay stuck on this wooden stool, unable to escape the path that the crazy Zoah had laid before him.

"Hi Serge, I'm just a nice young girl, a little younger than you. I love watching the ocean, and still do." It didn't take Serge long to figure out who this really was. 'It's Leena.'

"Oi why hello mate, I be a young beautiful gal, and a thief, who love kicking arses." Serge couldn't believe this. 'Kid? What is she doing here, could she love me?'

"How are you Serge, did you miss moi?" This next one was more of a surprise to Serge than Kid. 'What? Now I'm really confused. How can Harle be here, I thought she died after the whole Time Devourer incident? This is bad, now I have to pick one of them, but who do I love?' Serge thought for a moment about his choices. 'Wait, I know.'

----------

This wasn't much of a revising, but it's a little better. If you didn't catch it, I'll say it again. I'm very sorry. I didn't have time to continue this series, I've been busy writing things for school last year, and I tried writing a good chapter three without any success until now. I've just now have more time for writing, so I'm going to revise some of my horrible old stories. The second chapter hasn't been revised as well. That will be my third thing to do on my list.


	2. Chapter 2

A quick rewrite that I drew together on short. I've wanted to add more things to this, but this is fine for now. This supposely takes place after seven month since I wrote it, with that said I turn this story over to our host Zoah.

"WELCOME BACK…" The giant gently greeted. "THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW, WHERE I'LL READ MAIL FROM OUR FANS." Serge walks in scratching his head nervously. "We have fans?" Serge questioned surprised. "NO, ONLY I DO!" He beamed proudly. Zoah starts reading the reviews of Amanda The Mighty, Harle 13, Veed, Squall's Scar, BlueMoonWatcher, Dish-Chan, Fattyaddy99, Mel, YukimuraSanada, Crono Serge, and Final Fantasy Chick, while studying each with a stern gaze. "OKAY SERGE YOU HAVE 3 VOTES FOR KID, 1 FOR LEENA, 1 FOR MYSELF. THE REST LIKED OUR SHOW SO WE'RE STAYING."

"Yayy.." Serge sarcastically replied. Kid, Leena, Harle are seen looking at our hero with a serious stare. "IT'S TIME TO CHOOSE SERGE." Zoah chuckled happily. The girls dragged the poor boy back onto the set, Serge tried desperately to crawl away, but the grip of the three woman were too much for him. "Please don't make me choose." He pleaded over and over again.

**ZOAH'S DATING GAME**

- Above the stage, hovering in the air with a small UFO like device -

"Salutation carbon based organisms. Welcome back to the mating… I mean dating game. I'm your announcer Starky, the small cute blue extraterrestrial. Now put your limbs together for your host Zoah. The crazy over-weight mask guy, who's only fear is what people might see under his helmet."

- On Termina's stage -

"ZZZZZZ…" Zoah snored sleepily. Truth be told, the devoted host didn't move from his spot since the last seven month in which he last hosted this show. The entire audience had been told to come back today, as they would finally find out who the bachelor Serge would pick for his dream date.

Since then, Zoah ordered Greco and Grobyc to place Serge prisoner of Viper Manor for the time being, as a way he wouldn't skip to the other dimension. Of course Serge had been treated very kindly. Zoah made sure of that, but he couldn't let anything stop him from gaining his fame. With the Viper Dragoons, they captured… I mean escorted Van, and Janice back to the show as well. Riddle had little choice of going too. There they all were waiting in the top room of the Termina stage once again. Soon the show will start.. Hopefully for the last time.

"Serge, are you alright?" Riddel asked concerned. Serge nodded slightly. "I'm truly sorry, for what Zoah did to you." She apologized, Serge waved it off with his hand. "It's okay, but at least I have fun for the time being." Janice laid listening to the two chat, while Van stood staring at the wall. The point of the matter ahead cause the impatient artist to bash his head against the wall. "Damn that Zoah, he's only doing this to made us suffer!"

----

- In the stands -

Van wasn't the only one, for the crowd began to feel just like him. "Wake up you moron!" A man in the front row shouted, throwing a Viper Churro at the dead like giant.

"NO, MOMMY I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL." The giant sleepily replied after the white snack hit his head. It made a dull dong sound but he was still on his feet. At this time Greco, and Grobyc escorted Kid, Leena, and Harle to the left part of the stage, which had been divided in the middle by a thin curtainl. All the females waited as Serge now came out once again. He knew he couldn't delay this any longer. As Serge took his seat, Zoah instantly woke up from his mid-standing coma. The audience clapped happily to see the show starting once again. With Serge sitting in the love seat of doom, he continues to think of who to choose.

- On the stage -

Meanwhile Zoah re-introduces the show, "WE'RE BACK, LAST TIME OUR BACHELOR SERGE WAS READY TO PICK HIS BACHELOR, NOW WHO WILL HE CHOOSE?" Serge sighed deeply. "Don't you mean 'bachelorettes'?" Zoah did a double takes upon hearing this. "YEAH THAT TOO. ANYWAYS LET'S GET IT ON!" Zoah reaching into the pants pocket of his tuxedo pulling out what appears to be a couple of small cards. Serge sat puzzled as Zoah handed it to him. "What is this Zoah?" Zoah didn't say anything. Serge read carefully the words on his cards.

"Will ya blokes start the damn thing already?" One of the bachelorettes said roughly. "YOU HEARD HER!" Zoah concluded. Serge sighed once again. "Okay might as well get this started."

"Bachelorette #1: What is your favorite color?"

"_It would have to be blue, for it's also the color hair of my love."_

"Bachelorette #3: What is your favorite color?"

"_It ze black."  
_

"Bachelorette #2: Describe your perfect date?"

"_That be easy, a fun adventure."_

"Bachelorette #3: Describe your perfect date?"

"_With you Serge, an ze date would ze perfect date."_

"Bachelorette #1: What would you do if I picked you?"

"_I would wrap my arms around you, then give you the most passion kiss of your life."_

"Bachelorette #2: What would you do if I picked you?"

_"I don't know prolly kick ya arse, for putting me on this damn show to begin with."_

"THAT CONCLUDES OUR QUESTION ROUND. NOW SERGE WHO DO YOU PICK?" Serge's body stood perfectly still as he shook his head.

"...…" The audience turned quiet waiting for the boy to answer. "IT'S TOO LATE TO BE MUTE NOW, COME ON SERGE, YOU CAN'T FOOL ANYBODY. WE HEARD YOU TALK THROUGHOUT HALF THE STORY." Serge still refused to speak. "COME ON SERGE, DON'T MAKE ME SHOW YOU IT!"

Serge didn't replied.

"ALL RIGHT CAPTAIN OMIMAR, GO GIVE ME THE ZOAH'S SPECIAL BOX OF SEEING STUFF WITH!" The blue alien hovers down the stage with what appears to be a small box with a window inside. "My name Starky, and it's called a television. It a device," Serge hung his head low. "Great your going to make him explain it now." Serge finally spoke. "HEY IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Zoah countered. The screen instantly turns on as it shows them as they are in the other world.

The other other other dimension characters Dating Game

Everything is the same, Serge's sitting on a chair, the only different is that Zoah is wearing a pink tuxedo, while Serge has a smile on his face, soon Zoah's booming voice starts introducing the contestants. "NOW SERGE, YOU'LL HAVE TO PICK FROM THESE THREE LOVELY MEN." A gentle males voice is heard.

"Serge in the beginning we were enemies, but soon we became allies. I hope that even if you don't pick me, we can still be best friends." The alternate Serge nodding, upon knowing it to be his best friend Glenn.

"Rockin' Serge I fell in love with you, the first time I met you. I hope you pick me so I can show you my 'special' concert. I promised you." Serge sighed speechless, this had be Nikki. This came to no surprise to him, everyone in the party had thought he was gay to begin with.

"Serge.. I can express the feelings I have for you. Both of love and hate, pain and sorrow. I want you to know I truly love you!" This voice he didn't know, but it sounded familiar. Soon Serge knew who it had been, it was HIMSELF…"Oh Fate…"

----

Back to the Original Dating Game

The TV. screen blacks out. "GUESS I DIDN'T PAY MY CABLE BILL." Zoah joked. Of course no one laughed. Serge only sat wide-eyed. The bachelorettes didn't dare interrupt the shocked boy, not even Kid. Serge clutched onto his stomach. "I feel sick!" He softly grumbled. "I can't believe I'm gay in one of the dimensions." Serge hadn't been the only one feeling sick to his stomach, a few of the male members in stands were too.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I WOULD WEAR A PINK TUXEDO." Zoah replied totally missing the point. He didn't notice the look on Serge's face upon hearing that. "Shut up about your tuxedo, at least you weren't gay!" Serge shouted which surprised Zoah. "HOW DO YOU KNOW I'M NOT NOW?" Serge didn't expect to here this and then immediately moved his chair a few feet quickly away from him.

"Why is regurgitation everywhere in the audience?" The alien questioned. Not understanding the limits of male human beings. He continued to ask. "Starky don't see why it sick?" All the males had turned paler.

"This wasn't part of the deal, remember Zoah!" A shadow called forth. A tall form of a cat man flew down onto the ground. Upon hearing the voice, Kid instantly busted through the curtains tearing it into sheds. "Where are ya, ya bloody bastard." Kid with raged dashed across the set, upon doing this. She whipped out her dagger that she had hid in one of her boots.

Lynx smirked a cocky smile staring at the young thief. "Here Kiddy Kiddy." He mocked waving his hand towards her waiting for contact. As she approached, with a quick movement of the dagger the catman quickly disappeared. What Kid didn't know was that Serge had been behind Lynx. Now upon seeing Serge, she stopped with the dagger inches away from his chest.

"Ya alright mate?" She asked sticking her weapon back in it's sheath casually. He nodded, suddenly a strong wind picked up causing Kidto topple on Serge. The other two bachelorettes eyes burned with jealousy upon seeing their love on the ground with Kid.

"Don't knock down my man!" Leena screamed running towards Kid. "Serge izn't zours zes moi." Harle shouts back to Leena. "What did you say!" Leena eyes grew a fight red staring down Harle, while Harle did the same though her eyes are pretty much red anyways. The audience roared happily, ready to see a fight break out. But unluckily, Zoah's twin body guards Greco, and Grobyc quickly ran out to stop the future mayhem. Upon running out, they were quickly boo at by the audience. Greco, the wrestling bodyguard got in the middle of Leena, and Harle. "Ladies Ladies, there be children in the audience." Greco tried to reason to them, of course they didn't listen. "Shut the hell up!" Leena snapped at Greco angrily, "Mind ze own beeswax." Harle continued.

"I'm sorry to do this, but this is for you own good." Greco apologized. Within a second, Leena quickly grabbed the muscle-weight wrestler, throwing him into the audience. "GROBYC-NOT-PAID-ENOUGH- TO-DEAL-WITH-THIS!" The robotic mercenary stated running swiftly for his life. "Good thing Starky assemble censorship for show! I know what they going to say next to each other." The small blue alien knew nothing would be able to stop all hell from breaking loose. "ZOAH ZOAH!" The audience cheered happily. Kid didn't take this laying down. "Yer ain't fightin' without me!" Kid shouted jumping in as well. Soon the girls started their cat fight, while at the same time calling each other every name in the book.

"Now this is a show." Lynx snickered with some popcorn at hand watching the three girls kill each other. Serge didn't know what to do, so he decided to make the best of the situation and stole some of Lynx's popcorn from his hand. With nothing else to do Zoah knew he had to conclude the show. "COME BACK NEXT TIME WHERE OUR BACHELOR VAN WILL CHOOSE FROM THE THREE BACHELORETTES." The audience clapped happily. This was going to be the best show ever.

----

It's strange how I wrote this, but I couldn't think of a good pick up from the last chapter. But I'll re-write my first chapter when I have time. Hopefully then, this story will make more sense, and hopefully be even funnier. And for those of you who are mad since Serge didn't pick, don't worry. He will choose on the final chapter. So who do you think Van should choose?

Now if you flame me, I'll force you to listen to Zoah sing Radical Dreamers: Without Stealing the Jewel. Of course you don't have to flame me if you really do want to hear him sing.


	3. Chapter 3

Yes, I'm alive. It's been over about a year since I last updated. Now that I finished revising my first chapter, I'mstill in the process of completing the second. I can concentrate on the task at hand.I'm sure everyone will have to re-read the chapters again just to remember what has happen so far. I'm also very sorry about the long wait, it's just…

"YOU FORGOT ABOUT US, DIDN'T YOU?" The body of Zoah stood before the writer as a sweat drop appeared on his head anime style. No…Of course not, who in there right minds, it's just… maybe. Would you believe I was waiting for a sequel/three-quel? But anyways onto thanking those everyone who reviewed."

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH DRAGON RIDER, CHIBI RT, YUKOMA, JAMES, JANAE, FIRECELL, BLISSEY, MIZU NO KOKORO, AND YES EVEN YOU DIRK BOLERO. FINISHED THANKING… NOW IT'S TIME TO EAT."

Wow, people still liked my story and look at how many reviews I got. The writer slightly smiles as the giant knight stood crossing his arms expecting as much. "I TOLD YOU IT WAS BECAUSE OF ME."

Before long a familiar handsome blonde hair officers comes running up. "HEY, WHAT'S UP NORRIS?" Zoah shouts as the officer's scans his surroundings. "Freeze, you are under arrest!" Norris exclaimed pointing his rainbow gun at the giant behemoth.

"FOR WHAT, DON'T TELL ME IT'S ABOUT THE NEXT COUPLES BEING MINORS, YOU..." Zoah tried protesting, but the officer quickly stopped him with a gesture of his hand. "No, but it's against the law in Porre for all residents to be wearing masks, helmets, or anything else that covers your face."

"BUT WE ARE NOT IN…" The giant sighed slowly, as an idea came to him. A way to kill two birds with one stone you could say. "HOW ABOUT IF YOU DROP THE CHARGES, I'LL LET YOU BE IN MY SHOW." Norris stood studying the situation. "Is that a bribe?" Norris asked cautiously still gun at hand ready to go trigger happy at anything. "YES."

"Okay I'll do it." Noah nods as the sight of the mask magical caught his attention. "Wait Guile, you have to take off your mask." Norris shouted seeing the magician walking or somewhat floating away.

----------

**ZOAH'S DATING GAME**

In the aftermath of our last insane show, it led to the hospitalisation of the first three bachelorettes. Now with our main protagonist alone sitting backstage of the Termina Theater dateless. Serge didn't know what to do next; all that he knew was his life was over. His life wouldn't be able to get any worst. He could only imagine what the other protagonists would think upon hearing about this.

The guy with the oversize sword syndrome and the guy with friendship issues wouldn't hesitant to laugh at him in a heart beat. If the taunting didn't kill him, the girls would finish the job upon being released from the hospital. Just their fight wouldn't be continued on camera, and without the aid of Starky's censorship device. His whole life was doomed to have the three squabble over him forever.

To add insult to inquiry, his somewhat lynx like father stayed behind as the show broke for a quick ten-minute break. His cat like smile broke into his thoughts as the boy turned to his arch villain.

"That was fun, wasn't it Chrono Trigger?" Lynx slyly asked, as Serge buried himself in his hands. "Can you kill me please, oh and stop calling me by the name of our pre-sequel. It's embarrassing."

"Like Chrono Trigger could be considered a pre-sequel. I mean besides the three ghost kids, the Lavos, and that scientist that I killed; which was fun by the way, had nothing to do with Chrono Trigger. Speaking of fun, I forgot to tell you I also loved stabbing your girlfriend, and stealing your body."

"Just kill me!" Serge softly pleaded, this causing the incarnation to raise his hand to his chin for a minute thinking. "I could, but I love watching you suffer. But what do you say instead we go to Chronopolis. I have something I'm dying to show you there." Lynx offered. Serge sighed; to die by his nemesis would be better than by the girls' rage when they returned home, any of Lynx's torture devices would be far better.

"Shall we go, Chrono Trigger?" Serge slowly accepts nodding towards the embodiment of FATE as he gently laid his hand on Serge, both teleporting away in an instant. Now Zoah stood watching this, the two would be back soon anyways. But the show once again had to proceed.

----------

Without further delay, the beloved giant stood before the masses at the Termina Theater still in his brand spanking new tux, Zoah's voice could be heard throughout the stands.

"LADYS, GENTLEMEN, CRAZY CREATURES THAT I KNOW, AND NIKKI. WELCOME BACK, LAST TIME ON OUR SHOW, LYNX GOT INVOLVED, AND THE THREE BACHELORETTES HAD A CAT FIGHT. HOPEFULLY THIS TIME WILL BE A LITTLE BETTER… HEY, SHOULDN'T I GET A FREE CHURRO LIKE LAST TIME? ANYWAYS, WELCOME OUR NEXT CONTESTANT THE DIRT POOR ARTIST NAMED VAN."

"How dare you call me poor, I have rights. I have rights!" The voice of the young artist could be heard as he stood by the door, just a few centimeters away from the door knob incase of a quick retreat.

"SURE YOU DO, NOW GET DOWN HERE!"

"Yeah right, after what you did to Serge, then insulting me. Why should I?" Van demanded crossing his arms, his tantrum in front of the whole audience to see.

"YOU ARE AN ARTIST AND YOU ARE POOR. SO GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I MAKE YOU SORRY!" Zoah reasoned as the artist still refused holding his head high. "Make me!"

"STARKY BRING OUT THE ZOAH'S BOX OF SEEING STUFF WITH, WE NEED TO EDUCATE YOUNG VAN HERE." His voice quickly turning wicked as Van stood there in complete shock, the last thing he needed was to be in the same boat Serge had been.

"No, please. I'll be good. Just please don't let me see the other other other me!" Van quickly raised his hands above his head walking towards the stage surrendering himself to the evil knight's will.

Zoah clearly his voice as he began his introducing. "THIS IS VAN, THE CHILD IS FOURTEEN. THE BOY LIVES HERE IN TERMINA WITH HIS FATHER, HIS BODY WEIGHT IS 88LB. HIS HEIGHT IS 4'11. HE HAS BLUE EYES, BLUE HAIR, AND ONLY AGREED TO GO ON THE SHOW FOR THE PRIZES BECAUSE HE IS POOR."

Van tried his best to keep calm and from lashing out on Zoah, but it was easier said than done. The thoughts of the prizes allowed him to do so. "NOW VAN ARE YOU READY TO PICK FROM THESE BACHELORETTES, NOW WHO WILL HE CHOOSE?" Van couldn't help but glare at the giant among giants. Ignoring the look he was receiving, Zoah pulled out the question cards handing it to the boy. "TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF BACHELORETTES."

"Like you like already like know like about me, Zoah." The first one chimed, as Van couldn't help but be taken back.

"Well I'm a sweet little girl, who likes playing pranks on my stupid older brother." The second answered sweetly.

"Leah hungry." The third one added.

"THOSE ARE THE THREE BACHELORETTES." Zoah proudly announced. "I knew you were crazy, but this is just plain sick! Do you have any idea how old these girls are?" Van exclaimed a hint of rage in his voice, the very thought made him sick to his stomach. "DON'T WORRY, THE LAW IS ALREADY WITH ME."

"Yeah whatever, just start this sick show of yours.." Van felt a bit dejected. At least Serge had a few of the less annoying choices. But he swore to himself that he would do anything for money, survive any hardships. This counting as one of them.

"Okay… Fine… Bachelorette #1: What is your favorite thing to do?"

_"Well like besides being like a knight like I like to like playing cat's cradle."_

"Same question to you Bachelorette #2: What is your favorite thing to do?"

_"I like stealing stuff from my brother, and also embarrassing him in front of Kid. One time I took his line when he was fishing trying to impress her and I tied it to rock underwater, so he ended up falling into the water upon tugging on the line too hard."_

"Bachelorette #3: What job would you get to support a useless artist like me in the future?" Van stopped mid-sentence, unable to believe that Zoah would put something like this in a question, actually he should have known not to trust Zoah. He shot him a death glare while Zoah gave him a thumbs up in response. "You will pay for this, just you wait!" Van promised quietly.

"_What a job-um?"_

"Bachelorette #1: What job would you get to support… me in the future?"

_"Like I'm like an Acacian Deva Dragoon, so like I already like have like a job."_

"Bachelorette #2: What is one thing you like about me?"

_"Your paint attack, when it accidentally splashed everyone in the party instead of the monsters, that was pretty funny."_

"Bachelorette #3: What is one thing you like about me?"

_"That small pink-um animal that you talk to all the time that makes weird noises. It taste yucky."_

"You tried eating my piggy bank?" Van exclaimed, he couldn't help pointing his finger at the girl behind the curtain though she couldn't see him, instantly he began hugging his beloved piggy that was concealed in his pocket.

"WELL SO WHO DO YOU PICK?" Zoah asked, disturbed by the fourteen year olds behavior.

"Excuse me, but can't you see I'm having a moment here?" Van hugged his piggy bank tighter. After a moment or two, Van sighed. "Zoah, you do realize that none of them actually care for me. At least Serge had females that actually liked him."

"YEAH, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?" Zoah answered not to the satisfaction of Van.

"That's not true, Marcy and I have a crush on…." The voice of bachelorette #2 replied, before covering her at the last second as a swift kick sounding was heard as bachelorette #2 whelped in pain.

Van blinked, that was unexpected to said the least. He knew no way did the piggy eater have any understanding of what love was, as she was only six after all. But those two actually had a crush on him. The two immature brats of the group not to mention the only children.

"WOW, I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING THAT." Zoah announced as Van gave him a fierce dark look.

A small chuckle fell upon Van, he couldn't help but laugh. All this time he thought he would never have anyone liking him, and now.

"The bachelorette that I choose is… Mel." He said full of pride. It wasn't really love or anything of the sort. Unlike Serge with his choices, he hardly knew Marcy or Mel at all. So it was hard loving one of them when he hardly knew about any of them. Maybe in the future something would spark between one of them, he would just have to take it once step at a time. But he would just take this time to find out more about Mel.

The audience when wild with the happy ending, everyone clapping madly as Van began getting more embarrassed. Zoah smiled to himself, finally his show went off without a hitch. No crazy interruption this time around, though he did wonder about what or not he should market female cat fights killing one another for their loves, it was bound to do just as well.

"STARKY, TELL THE TWO LOVE BIRDS WHAT THEY WON."

"Wwweeelll, you lost a vacation prize package." The small alien announced. Zoah shook his head a little disappointed, good help was so hard to find these days.

"Wait, I thought we were going to get money?" A bewildered Van asked, while Zoah didn't like the look he was getting. "WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A CASH PRIZE? DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT THIS SHOW DOESN'T AWARD CASH PRIZES, NOT THAT IT MATTERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE OVER EIGHTEEN TO WIN THE MONEY ANYWAYS!"

"Say what? That's it, you going down!" Van promised throwing himself on the giant, punching away at the host with no remorse, not caring if he wore armor or not. The first time he almost had a normal show, but nooo he had to invite the crazy piggy bank kid. He should have guess this would be happening.

"He's so strong." Mel replied dreamy as Zoah was launched into the air, landing in the audience. Van tried his best not to blush upon hearing the comment from Mel, but failed miserably at it. A second later, Zoah stood back on stage unharmed. "ISN'T THAT CUTE."

A figure emerged from the audience in pure anger. His face plastered beyond rage. His scrawny body was bruised and battered.

"How dare cha do that to me!" His voice quivering with anger. Zoah stood with his hands on his hips annoyed at the tanned red haired boy. "IF I DIDN'T TIE YOU UP KORCHA, YOU WOULD HAVE STORMED UP HERE ON SERGE'S TURN."

"But why did you beat me up, after tying me?" Korcha demanded shaking his fist.

"I COULDN'T HELP IT." Zoah answered innocentlytwiddling with his fingers. "And you cha! How dare cha do that to me in front of Kid!" His voice trailing off as he pulled out his fishing pole. "I'm going to spank cha so bad cha that you wouldn't think of doing anything like that again.

Before the overly jealously Korcha had a chance to strike Mel, a bottle of paint flew into his face blinding him with a deep black, only to be followed with every other color of the rainbow. A smile graced Van, as he followed up with his unwind piggy bank as it tackled him into the ground.

"GUARDS, REMOVE THIS CHICKEN MUTANT!" Zoah demanded looking at the corner of his eye to see the hero in a tight embrace from his damsel in distress. As the incompetent Solt and Peppor dragged the remains of Korcha off the stage. "HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS WON'T HAVE ANY CHICKEN CHILDREN EITHER, UNTIL NEXT TIME WE WILL HAVE LADY RIDDEL PICK HER LUCKY BACHELOR. SO LONG EVERYBODY."

Meanwhile in another place and another time

"Die, you blue haired freak!" A razor sharp sword impaled into the youth as the victor stood taunting.

"Why can't I beat you in Star Ocean?" Serge asked as his Fayt fell victim to Lynx's Albel. "Have you suffer enough?" Lynx smirked, as Serge continuously shook his head. He suffered three straight hours of getting his arse kicked by his nemesis at this silly thing called a Playstation 2, now he was ready to go back to the show.

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IF YOU WANT ANOTHER CHAPTER YOU BETTER REVIEW OR ELSE IT MIGHT BE ANOTHER FIVE YEARS BEFORE HE WRITES THE NEXT ONE.

Hey Zoah, I said I'm sorry. I've just recently been able to write fan fictions again. I pledge that this evil story will be finished within the next month or so help me. I'm also aiming for the next chapter to be finished within a week or two, but don't hold me on that. The next chapter will be a lot better than this one if you didn't like it, the next one deals with Lady Riddel and the three bachelor choices of Karsh, Dario, and Glenn. Anyways review if anyone is still there.


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